Following being married for several decades, what is the factor that keeps couples in love and deeply committed to each other? Undoubtedly, successful marriage stories start with happy partners. In this matter, experts’ opinion can come by as the guiding light.
At the time of getting married, it is only natural for a person to harbor a lot of hopes. Marriage is a promise that is to last a lifetime. The partners promise to stand by each other through thick and thin. But, one cannot deny that not all marriages last. These promises break away, tough as it may seem.
Very often, we come across stories wherein married partners break their relationships. They are required to separate from their friends and families under such circumstances. However, some marriages last remarkably longer to make successful marriage stories.
In light of the latter fact, it must be brought to the surface that some couples from around the world have been registered in the Guinness Book of World Records for being married for half a century, and still counting! The remarkable factor about this achievement is that even as the marriage has aged beautifully, the couples are still madly in love with each other as they used to be at the time when they met on their first date.
Upon conducting a comparative study of many of these couples, it has been found that they share a host of commonalities. Even as decades fly by, the love that the couples have for each other has not dwindled.
What is the secret behind these successful marriages, one may wonder. There is no secret as such. But this one has a lot to do with friendship, deep trust, being faithful, communication, and respect that makes these marriages last forever.
What is the secret to the longest marriages in the world?
If we consider the case of the longest marriage in the world, we see that the record belongs to Zelmyra Fisher (USA, b. 1907) and Herbert Fisher (USA, b. 1905). You’ll be surprised to note that when Mr. Fisher passed away on 27th February 2011, the couple had been married for 86 years and 290 days.
Herbert and Zelmyra were both born and brought up in North Carolina, USA. They grew up together as best friends. At the time they got married, they were 18 and 16 respectively.
The duration of the marriage makes it a record-breaking affair. In their lifetime, the couple had 5 children, 10 grandchildren, 9 great-grandchildren, and 1 great-great-grandchild. That’s a reasonable number of children and grandchildren.
Fisher couple’s interaction with us on Valentine’s Day 2010
On Valentine’s Day 2010, the couple attended a Twitter Q&A. They said, “A friend is for life; our marriage has lasted a lifetime.”
The couple was also asked about the secret to their long life. They responded by saying that there’s no secret behind their long-standing marriage as such. All through their lives, they have only been doing the things that were required for their families and themselves. Speaking of divorce, they said that it was never an option, and they never thought about it.
The couple told us that the best marriage advice they have ever received was that they should respect, support, and communicate with each other. It pays to be faithful, honest, and true. A couple should love each other with all one’s heart.
Mr. Fisher was 105 when he passed away in 2011. He was followed a couple of years later by Mrs. Fisher, who too lived to be 105.
Let us now consider another example of a couple that has been married for long. In Woonsocket, Rhode Island, Eugene Gladu and Dolores Gladu were married on 25th May 1940. It was then in July 2021 that the couple was listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for being married for 81 years and 57 days.
At this time, the couple was leading an active lifestyle. In their prime years, the couple spent time dancing, snowmobiling, traveling, canoeing, and hiking together.
At times, several decades pass during which a couple has been married to each other. So, all through this time, what are the factors that keep a couple committed to each other, and also in love? The following times are shared by Dr Chandni Tugnait, who is M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder, and Director of Gateway of Healing. By following these tips, your dream of sharing lifelong happiness with your partner becomes a true reality.
1. Trust, honesty, and mutual respect
In any healthy relationship, the foundation is crafted by these three elements. With each other, a couple has to be truthful. There is no question of hiding your intentions or feelings. A married partner has to always find himself or herself in utter respect for his/her partner’s decisions and opinions. The relationship has to be based on the trust that your partner always has your best interest in mind.
2. The romance has to stay alive
After one settles down into life’s routine, one may feel that one has forgotten that it is important to keep things exciting and romantic. But, this has to be always borne in mind.
There are many ways to go about it. Small gestures of affection are going to surprise your partner. You should be scheduling late-night outings at times. New things, you should be trying together.
These small outlets of affection need not be extravagant at all times, but they have to be there. If you take a drive together or go for a simple picnic in the park, it might be sufficient to rekindle the spark.
3. Be respectful when resolving conflicts
In any relationship, disputes and disagreements are bound to occur at one time or the other. However, the outcome is defined by how you handle them.
In such crises, it is recommended to take a step back and calm down. Then, you both need to listen to and understand each other perspectives and viewpoints. It is also recommended to not use hurtful language in any form.
4. Shared goals have to be created
The bond between partners strengthens when shared goals are created and the partners work towards together them. These goals could be varied and could be something like buying a house, pursuing a common interest, or starting a family. To support each other’s dreams, try and make sure that you are on the same page.
5. Communication is the key
For any relationship, effective communication is crucial. Both partners need to be honest and open in their relationship. They have to be clear in their expression, but listening to your partner is also equally important.
Jumping to conclusions has to be avoided, and it is best not to interrupt or assume. For communication, nonverbal cues also need to be looked into. They include the tone of voice and body language.
We hope that these tips convert your married life into one of the successful marriage stories.